The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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