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• (512): View more from Texas

  Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.

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• (408): View more from California

  Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all

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• (646): View more from New York

  I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  God bless Atlanta.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY

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• (530): View more from California

  Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?

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