Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(613): View more from Ontario

New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.

(1-613): View more from Ontario

We are no longer friends.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her

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(540): View more from Virginia

I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name

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(712): View more from Iowa

I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.

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(563): View more from Iowa

I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos

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(908): View more from New Jersey

He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.

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