the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
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this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
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He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.