You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?