New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.