apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt