WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
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Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
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he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks