Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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