I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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