i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
