i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
you had me at cake vodka
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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