You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
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My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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