My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
