He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
