I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
