i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
