And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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