he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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