oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
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i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
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Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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