fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
