i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Randomize
