It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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