you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
vagina is talking i cant
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
