dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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