Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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