Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
being pregnant is like rehab
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
