I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
