the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize