You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
