I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
