Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
