Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
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He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
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I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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