Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
