R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
