i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i will never coherently bang her
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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