this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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