At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
