look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
