She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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