i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Alive.
So much puke
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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