I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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