i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Randomize
