that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize