Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend

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  (410): best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend http://tfl.nu/u596
  Replies (23) Good night (4561) Bad night (612) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...

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  (404): Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song... http://tfl.nu/qxfs
  Replies (35) Good night (1102) Bad night (4488) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth

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  (518): I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth http://tfl.nu/kl4h
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  (206): View more from Washington

  she told me i tasted like america

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  (206): she told me i tasted like america http://tfl.nu/ed46
  Replies (31) Good night (7732) Bad night (1080) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??

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  (717): at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea?? http://tfl.nu/j9re
  Replies (9) Good night (2134) Bad night (984) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  There is a pube in my fucking eyeball

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  (505): There is a pube in my fucking eyeball http://tfl.nu/0eb2
  Replies (15) Good night (818) Bad night (5103) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...

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  (541): Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds... http://tfl.nu/27nn
  Replies (6) Good night (1951) Bad night (808) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!

  (623): View more from Arizona

  It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...

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  (602): If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection! (623): It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now... http://tfl.nu/u3ol
  Replies (6) Good night (2361) Bad night (646)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.

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  (306): You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons. http://tfl.nu/ly4h
  Replies (4) Good night (1267) Bad night (640) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee

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  (717): dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee http://tfl.nu/bnsi
  Replies (10) Good night (352) Bad night (836) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.

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  (859): I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK. http://tfl.nu/lcdi
  Replies (26) Good night (363) Bad night (1158) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.

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  (714): Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym. http://tfl.nu/t6kc
  Replies (5) Good night (885) Bad night (532) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you

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  (616): Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you http://tfl.nu/p2n8
  Replies (1) Good night (301) Bad night (626) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us

  (845): View more from New York

  I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god

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  (845): The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us (845): I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god http://tfl.nu/vq2q
  Replies (1) Good night (792) Bad night (135)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me

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  (203): It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me http://tfl.nu/q51p
  Replies (7) Good night (206) Bad night (641) Order T-Shirt

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