So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.