Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
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He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
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you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole