sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.