Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.