By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet