so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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