people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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