Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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