Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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