Do vagina's smell?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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