So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
