how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
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Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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