the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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