i was rollin on her like bob the builder
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
