One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Someone shattered a urinal.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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