youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
