so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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