I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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