I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
