My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
