I can tuck mytits in my pants
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
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His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
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You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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