This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
