found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
