I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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