my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
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They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
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I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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